On the ride home several months back my daughter tells me how she fell while running in the playground and got a boo-boo. She tells me how much it hurts. I was sympathetic and we continued our conversation. It was somewhat random, as you would expect a conversation with a five year old would be. Several minutes later I ask her to recite her memory verse: “God created the Heavens and the Earth” (Gen. 1:1). She did, then paused and asked if God makes boo-boos’?

I thought her question was cute so I smiled, then smirked, then the depth of her question hit me… I was totally puzzled. I remember asking myself, “How do I answer that;” “where do I begin?” It was a profound and deep question and one that even adults, Christian adults, wrestle with. Why does God allow sickness, diseases, poverty or even death? I pondered for a minute and came up with the perfect response, one that would satisfy her curiosity and make me Father of the Year. I replied with complete confidence — “Lyilah, God made ice cream, do you want some?” Just kidding…

This is not a commentary on why God allows such things in our world. I’m just not smart enough to answer those questions. However, what’s truly fascinating is how my daughter is thinking about God and how our conversations are shaping her Godview. At Cornerstone Family Church we are intentional in teaching our preschoolers about God. We teach three things: God Made Me, God Loves Me and Jesus Wants to be My Best Friend Forever. God is part of our daily conversation even at home. My wife and I share with our daughter in as many different ways as possible how she is wonderfully and perfectly made, how God loves her more than even her mommy and daddy and how Jesus really wants to be her friend, her best friend.

Parents do not underestimate the power of your role in shaping your children’s Godview. It is absolutely vital. It is necessary. God designed it so YOU are the primary spiritual influencer in your homes. Not the children’s pastor, not your pastor, YOU. Youth experts Kara Powell and Chap Clark in their recent book “Sticky Faith” notes that only 12 percent of moms and five percent of dads have regular conversations about faith with their children.  Keep the dialog consistent between home and church. And not just the dialog but also your actions, your attitudes and your way of living. Sometimes, well almost every time, your actions speak louder than words. Kara Powell and Chap Clark also collaborate this truth, “…it is who you are that shapes your kid” (21).  It is far more important what happens at home than what happens at church. And when the tough questions come, and they will, duck them like I did : ) …I’m kidding!!!  Discuss them, its okay to wrestle through some tough topics together.

Parenting is tough. It is. And I’m the parent of just one five year old. Only one and she’s five. Yup, she’s a she… that makes it even tougher. I know she is only five however I work with students so I “know” (so I think) exactly what to expect when she’s 15. Oh, Goshhhhh! That’s only ten years away. Honestly I do NOT look forward to those teenage years. At five she runs to me and hugs me when I walk through the front door. I love that feeling! When she’s 15 she’ll be running away from me and into her bedroom … blah! Teens are just mean, angry, irritating, obnoxious, self-centered and those are the good ones. To be fair the teenage years are tough on students but they are just as tough on parents which make these earlier years that much more critical.

As moms and dads we need to reduce the busyness, families are just way to busy, and we need to parent intentionally. Busyness competes for our time to influence, instill our values and shape our children’s worldview. Being intentional can be difficult but it must be a priority. We must spend time on their turf doing the things they enjoy. Teens may reject your attempts however as parents we need to be proactive and consistent.

Several weeks’ back I attempted to do just that, be intentional, and I was flat out rejected by my five year old. I told my daughter I was going to visit her in school and bring McDonalds to have lunch together. I was excited and smiling when I told her however she did not share my excitement. She started crying! When I asked her what was wrong she said and I quote, “I want to have lunch with my friends.” Blah! I was R-E-J-E-C-T-E-D!!!!

My daughter is only five and she already picked her friends over me. That feeling sucked! But believe me I was NOT going to give up.

For the next several weeks I would remind her in several different ways how much I valued spending time with her and enjoyed her company and how special it was for me to hang out with her. I didn’t just say it, I showed her. To my surprise my wife tells me that my daughter told her that I was going to have lunch with her at school. I scheduled the lunch date immediately.

We had an amazing time. We chatted; laughed and played with the toy she received with her happy meal… it was a blast. It was special. I got to eat a double cheeseburger Most importantly, it was a reminder that the most important lunch meeting I could ever have is the one with my daughter. We should never be so busy to intentionally invest in the lives of our children. Sadly, I was the only dad out there.